"What is Spazzstick," you ask? Spazzstick is a high quality lip balm containing copious amounts of caffeine, which is absorbed directly through your lips and into your bloodstream. Developed by an Alaskan police officer, the goal was to create a product to fight off both cold wind and fatigue. We'd say it worked!
Spazzstick is made in a small Eskimo village called Kaktovik, AK, by it's inventor and his hordes of worker trolls in a vast underground volcano lair. Details on the underground volcano lair are sketchy at best, but we do know that the trolls are at least kept very clean (except, of course, the bridge trolls).
Now you can have the taste of chocolate cake on your lips at all times, complete with the sugar rush sensation, all without the calories!